I no longer maintain this blog and have moved on over to Reasons I’m Going To Hell. Follow me there for more debauchery, MSpaint drawings, and adventures!

Tegan

A short but relevant account of what most women experience in their lives when they go out in public – invasion of privacy, safety, and comfort.

I’ve written before about the affects of street harassment, and Kate Spencer drives the point home,

How is someone whistling at you threatening, they ask? Here is what they don’t understand. Those moments, which may seem insignificant and small, create an unsafe environment in which women are forced to live.

Definitely read it, especially if you have never understood why street harassment is a big deal.

1. I am more afraid of bugs than they are of me.
The expressions parents use when their kid is scared of a tiny bug is, “they are more afraid of you than you are of them”. This is supposed to make the child feel better, or something. Well let me tell you, Minnesota bugs have no fear. They have the opposite of fear, which is ram-into-Tegan’s-face-over-and-over.
2. Airport time is not the same as real time.
When they tell you they can bump you up to another flight and that your already-checked-in bags will be right behind you, don’t believe them. The only bags you will receive are bags of LIES.

3. Riding a mechanical bull is awesome.
Seriously people, do it.

PS. I was locked out of my blog for awhile. If you had liked me on Facebook or added me on Twitter, you would have known this. Hint, hint.

— Kat Banyard

DID YOU KNOW?

• Planned Parenthood hands out abortion coupons, just to use up all of your federal tax dollars.
• 100% of babies that were aborted would have grown up to be scientists, presidents, astronauts, and football players.
• Not only does Walgreens take care of that pesky “need” for pap smears and breast cancer screenings, but they also develop film. When was the last time Planned Parenthood developed your film for you instead of aborting it?
• Anyone who has ever had an abortion has gone on to do only bad things, like feed people black licorice and send numerous Farmville invites to all their friends.
• John Kyle is a superstar drag queen and has absolutely no relation to Jon Kyl.
• Plan B is actually a tiny baby seeking bullet created by Atheists.
• Oscar the Grouch from Sesame Street is so grouchy because he had an abortion.
• Saying Barack Hussein Obama’s name 3 times in the mirror will call up the ghost of Saddam Hussein.
• Illegal immigrants are responsible for 90% of Mexican music playing from cars.
• There are no gay people in Arizona.
• Arizona is so hot because the sun shines brightest on us.
• Kenya is 90% terrorism.
• Planned Parenthood’s initials are PP, which also stands for Pepperoni Pizza.
• 90% of people who like pepperoni pizza like abortions.
• It is definitely not speeches like mine that make the GOP look like a joke. Definitely not.

Instead, I stayed clean and sober and on my own two feet. What kind of festival is that!?

When we arrived, we were greeted by a large crowd all standing in various lines. In order to do anything, you need to exchange money for tickets (much like a Dave & Busters system, but with less Jurassic Park games). After standing in line for tickets, you get to stand in line for barbeque samples (because nothing was cooked before the event started). Once you are sweaty and full of expensive meat samples, you can wait in a very long line for a can of beer, which you will drink as you re-wait in line to get another beer.

But – the mechanical bull! Surely that cannot have been terrible?

No, the mechanical bull was being ridden by a baby. A BABY.

Moral of the story: Don’t go the AZ BBQ Festival it is terrible.

Tennessee continues its ongoing battle with a mosque being built in a neighborhood. A quick run-down for those who haven’t followed the story: Muslim-Americans dared to practice their freedom of religion by building a mosque in a Tennessee neighborhood. The constructions efforts were very literally torched, and signs were spray painted with ‘Not Welcome’. Somehow this is acceptable behaviour.

I have a mosque in my neighborhood. When we first moved in, it was Christian church (with, no joke, a neon, blinking sign that read JESUS. It looked like a Coors Light bar sign). Eventually, the church property was sold to someone else who turned the church into a mosque.

My neighborhood consists mostly of Mormons, lesbians, Hispanics, and Joe-Shmoe Arizonans (my Republican parents included). In case you were in a coma for SB-1070, Arizona’s occasional racism shows through particular residents who come out and say, “Yeah, fuck them border hoppers!”

Well, the mosque went up just fine. No protests, arson, or any general misshaps. The mosque has been there and active for many years now, and there’s been zero incidents or complaints.

The moral of the story is: A MOSQUE IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. My neighborhood didn’t erupt in flames, Muslims did not storm the streets demanding we convert, God did not descend and condemn us all for daring to tolerate other religious presence. Every encounter I’ve had with the mosque has been pleasant and, even though they don’t have an awesome neon blinking sign outside, I am no longer bombarded with pamphlets telling me to go to church.

Tennessee, settle the fuck down. It’s a mosque for practicing Muslim-Americans who are exercising the same rights you do.

• In case you haven’t seen the hilarity that is Keep Your Boehner Out of My Uterus, check it out now.
• An incredibly insightful, wonderfully written account from an abortion provider about her experiences.
• Pregnant Iowa woman arrested for falling down stairs while pregnant. A great way of pointing out how quickly some people stop caring about the life of a woman as soon as a fetus is involved.
• The power of lonely.
• An excerpt from a book detailing the horrific loss of a woman who died (with her baby) when she experienced a miscarriage and doctors didn’t help her because of the abortion ban.
• An awesome charity organization called The Girl Effect dedicated to helping young girls in poverty.
• A blog recounting experiences as a patient escort at a women’s clinic.

Check your email for your sweet winnings!