CSN Stores Gift Certificate GiveAway Extravaganza! [Closed]

Hello readers, its giveaway time courtesy of the wonderful CSN Stores team! I have worked with them before and am happy to say they are a reliable and wonderful company with everything from cookware to baby stuff to – okay just take a look alright? Its like a freakin’ mall on the web.

Anyway, 1 awesome Sangfroid reader will win a $65.00 gift certificate courtesy of CSN Stores to spend in anyway they want. I was talking with The Hating Expert about how some gifts are just so terrible sometimes, you wish they had just given you a giftcard, so we decided on these guidelines:

  • Leave a single comment below telling us about the worst/weirdest/unexpectedly mind-boggling gift you’ve ever gotten. If you can’t think of one, just tell me a story about something else I guess.
  • To get a second entry, tweet a link to this giveaway post on your Twitter (no Facebook stuff please) and leave a second, separate comment with a direct link to the individual tweet.

Monday the 21st of March ,  I will choose a winner using a random number generator and announce it along with a compilation of the best stories! Please remember to leave your email in the info box so I have a way to contact you!

In the meantime, while you are anxiously awaiting the results of the contest, why don’t you read some what I like to call THE BEST OF THE SANGFROID EVER.

What Will Happen If Gay People Get Married, Dr. Sangfroid?

How To Quit Your Job

What To Do When You’re Unemployed

20 Reasons Pizza Is Better Than a Relationship

21 Lessons In 21 Years

Texas: We Want To Know Where Your Dick is Going

 

P.S. To stay updated, you can follow me on Twitter, fan my FB page, subscribe to my blog, or just watch me through my window.

 

Notes: Contest open only to U.S. entrants. Giftcard does not cover shipping costs (which are cheap anyway). I am not being compensated for this giveaway.

Back In Black

Hi everyone,

Sorry for the neglect…life has been overwhelming as usual. #WhiteGirlProblems

I have been doing a multitude of things including:

-Becoming businessy.

-Walking my dog.

-Browsing for sufficient track lighting for my home because I am tired of candlelight.

-Not blogging.

-But thinking about blogging sometimes.

-Mostly not really blogging though.

-Petting my dog.

-Eating potato soup.

 

And that’s about it. Welcome back!

On Giffords, Palin, and Blame

By now I suspect most anyone reading this blog has learned of the tragic shootings in my home state. Among the injured and killed was of course, Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords, who already had crosshairs on her in an image from Sarah Palin’s website.

Hello, controversy.

Though we do not know the shooter’s political affiliations, beliefs, or motivations, we all can look at Sarah Palin’s targeting image and speculate a connection, rather it be an inspirational image, a triggering one, or a guide.

Does this make Palin responsible for the shooting? To blame for the shooting?

No, of course not. She cannot be held responsible for another person’s actions.

But that doesn’t mean she is in the right.

I have written before about Palin’s tendency to use violence and harassment in her speeches as a means to “rally up and inspire” her followers. Palin of course is not the first, last, or only politician to use metaphors of violence, but it doesn’t make it right in her instance or any instance.

The fact of the matter is, this sort of metaphorical call to violence is a factor, whether it was even linked to the shooting or not.

People are looking at this image and blaming the right, the conservatives, the Republican party for the shooting.

The family of Giffords will always remember that a person explicitly drew crosshairs over their loved one because of her political beliefs, not caring that she truly could have been (and was) shot for those beliefs.

Even on Palin’s Facebook fanpage, people are posting, “liberal scum deserved it” and “I wish the rest of Sarah’s targets got shot too”.

No, Palin is not responsible for the shootings. She does not have blood on her hands. She is not at fault.

But she is not in the clear, she is not in the right for posting such an image.

What I find most disgusting from her is that, before issuing a statement, before posting her condolences, she had the image removed from her site and less than 24 hours later is already talking to the media, pushing the blame away from her and REFUSING to aknowledge that she put crosshairs over a woman who was shot in the head.

Have some dignity, Palin. Stop backpedaling and making up scenarios and just admit your image was tasteless and you are sorry for putting the image up. You don’t have to take the blame, or connect the shooter’s action to your image, but you need to have some goddamn respect and acknowledge that your constant push for violence is wrong.

Honest New Year’s Resolutions

New Year’s Eve is near, and with it comes thousands of people picking themselves up from the gloominess the holidays often leave us. “A New Year!” They exclaim, “A chance to better myself!”

Let’s be real. We more enjoy the idea of bettering ourselves than the actual process, and we certainly enjoy making resolutions and looking at the prospect of becoming a better person and creating a better life.

By March, most of us can’t even remember what our resolutions were.

This year, let’s just write our resolutions honestly.

“Lose 15 pounds”
“Get a gym membership and go for a month. See no progress, give up and go back to being comfortable with my body until the holidays.”

“Call my parents twice a week.”
Call my parents twice a week for two weeks until I remember why I never called them that much in the first place.”

“Save money from every paycheck and put it toward a new car.”
“Save money from every paycheck, put it toward booze when friends come into town.”

“Eat healthy.”
“Spend time researching what ‘eating healthy’ is. Don’t entirely understand if cheez-its are all that non-healthy. Cut out McDonald’s, substitute it with cheez-its.”

“Spend more time with my friends.”
“Call friends to hang out, discuss how you all share the goal to hang out more. After a month, realize that life is busy, but appreciate the effort.”

“Blog more.”
“Blog a bunch in January until winter break is over. Pick it up again in the summer.”

“Stop procrastinating.”
“Find more creative ways to procrastinate so it doesn’t feel like I am.”

“Do one good thing a day.”
“Have extremely loose regulations on what a “good thing” is considered. Staying in bed all day and eating chips counts as a good thing, right?”

“Quit smoking.”
“Quit smoking so damn much.”

“Go to church every Sunday.”
“Go to church for a few Sundays. Realize not much has changed since every Sunday you were forced to go as a kid. Buy a bible as a sufficient substitute for church every week. Feel satisfied with this alternative.”

“Get organized.”
“Buy one of those snazzy planners from Borders. Attempt to organize life. Realize you can only control so much, and that you understand your own chaos. Forget about snazzy planner.”

The Sangfroid’s Quick & Dirty Gift Guide

Are you a twenty-something college-ish modern American living roughly paycheck to paycheck because who needs a 401k anyway? Fear not, my years of being a poor college student with a slightly creative side has helped me survive the holidays time and time again. Compiled below is a handy-dandy list of do-it-yourself creations, low-cost but full of instant-gratification gifts, and even some stuff that’s just plain free. With only 10(!!!) days until Christmas, everything here is ideal for last minute gifts too!

1. Food
#1 because it’s so obvious but so often forgotten. Plates of cookies or brownies for your office mates, a home-cooked 3-course meal with cosmos for your Sex and the City group of friends, and personalized giftbaskets of yummy treats for all the so-and-so’s. If you’re really feeling festive, red and green jell-o shots for your other poor college roommates are always welcome.
Suggestions:
Peppermint Bark
Pasta, pasta, pasta
Jell-o shots

2. Giftcards That Don’t Suck
As The Hating Expert so blatantly put it, giftcards say, “I like you exactly this amount of money’s worth”. Seriously, how lame does a Target giftcard look? The trick to giving a giftcard that doesn’t suck is to make it personable. If your friend is a craft hound, get them a gift certificate to an Etsy shop they love. Bookworms, a Kindle e-book voucher or a simple Barnes and Noble card. Combining gift cards too with memberships is good too, should the store offer it.
Suggestions:
Victoria’s Secret (for the lingerie lover)
Think Geek (for your nerdy dad)

3. Wall Art by You
Those with “no artistic ability”, don’t skip over this! Though the first thing that comes to mind with homemade wall art is generally an elaborate painting, its not the only option. Collages (made from magazines, photos, or mixed mediums), pop art made from objects, and even plain photos you took are all wall art.
Suggestions:
Collage tutorial

4. Free Services
I’m not talking about “IOU one steamy night of hot tub sex” coupons (though I suppose…), but genuine services that your friend has to deal with all year. Babysitting, dog walking, simple car repairs (I still can’t change my own oil), massages, and yard or house work are all unexpected but much appreciated gifts. It seems cheap (because it is) but in economically tough times, it can be a load-off to know that for the next 3 months, you won’t have to pay for a babysitter.

5. Magazine Subscriptions
I’m one of those dummies who pays $5 every month for a copy of a magazine I could easily subscribe to all year for $10. If you have a friend who does this, please slap them upside the head and get them a subscription.

6. Stocking/Basket Stuffers
A lot of times when Christmas shopping online, I run across approx. 1,000 cute and clever things in those “under $10!” sections, but know they are all super lame by themselves. Combine those items into a stuffed stocking or decorated basket for a neat mish-mosh (is that a word?) of trinkets.
Suggestions:
Forever21 Stuffers
Think Geek Stuffers
Etsy Stuffers

7. Crocheted, Stitched, or Knitted Items
Though it may require a bit of work if you’re a beginner, fancy needle work is ultimately not very hard, and allows a lot of creative freedom. My friend is crocheting a pair of dog booties for her dog so she can go outside without freezing her paws off, and even my poor knitting skills have managed a few scarves. Even just stitching quotes or simple pictures into pillows isn’t very hard, but it does show you took the time to truly put something unique together.
Suggestions:
Knitting Tutorial
Crocheting Tutorial
Stitching Tutorial

 

8. Booze
Because really, that’s usually when you have the best times with your friends.

 

9. Any Of These Crafts
Seriously, I think I’ve utilized at least 1 or 2 things off this list ever year. Everything is relatively easy to make, personalize, and create in a short amount of time (or long if you want to dedicate more to it).

10. Time
“Oh Tegan, shut up, that is such a lame gift”. No, you shut up. Time is an awesome gift. We have limited amounts, yet we often choose to spend it on crappy things like jobs and getting enough sleep. Spend a night, a day, a weekend with a person and actually do things. Explore a new restaurant (or visit a favourite), play in a park, people watch, just do something together and make that person the focus. Stop worrying about work the next day, or if there’s something you should be getting done at home. Creating memories is a lot better than another sweater vest in a package.

Other Tidbits:

For those with a large group of mutual friends, organize a holiday event with gift exchanging or gift games like Secret Santa or White Elephant. Just spending a bit of time celebrating the holidays with people is more fulfilling than sending a package through the mail and not seeing the person until February.

Are We Done Blaming the Victim Yet?

We’re in 2010. We all know (no matter how much some may deny it) that individuals are responsible for their own actions, that both men and women are fully capable of controlling their sexual urges, and that victims of harmful actions are not responsible.

At least, I thought we all knew that. Apparently not.

After Google Writer Noirin Shirley blogged about being sexually assaulted by Twitter Engineer Florian Leibert, she was met with an onslaught of typical slut-shaming comments. Scrolling through Gawker’s coverage of it, I was met with “well she was wearing a short skirt and was really inebriated, so she needs to take responsibility” and “she just wants attention, that’s why she blogged about it. She deserved it”.

In the words of Amy Poehler and Seth Meyer, REALLY!?!

Really, a woman deserved to be sexually assaulted because she chose to drink a beer? A woman is just asking to be molested if she wears anything less than a full body potato bag? It’s OKAY to jam your hand down someone’s pants just because you want to!?

Shirley herself put it best in her blog,

I’m tired of the fear. I’m tired of people who think I should wear something different. I’m tired of people who think I should avoid having a beer in case my vigilance lapses for a moment[...]It is not my job to avoid getting assaulted. It is everyone else’s job to avoid assaulting me.

Maybe he did go after that particular girl because of her clothes or drinking or what have you, but it doesn’t make it her fault because she wore those clothes or drank alcohol or flirted or maybe God forbid made eye contact with a man. Always, always regardless of outside circumstances, the conscience decision to assault or harass someone is ultimately left to the harasser, not the victim. It is never okay to put your hands on someone’s body without their permission, bottom line.

It’s 2010, are we done blaming the victim yet?

Friday Quote – Feminism

I am really, really sick of hearing women who are studying for degrees, who voted in the General Election 6 months ago, who have their own bank accounts, who weren’t married off as soon as they hit puberty, who are on the pill and who enjoy making their own choices about their careers, bodies and futures, claiming that they “disagree with feminism”.

Via Sarah Graham

Stop Street Harassment

I stumbled onto Stop Street Harassment a bit ago, a website that chronicles not only essays about the affects of street harassment, but also horror stories of every day encounters.

The website defines street harassment as “… inappropriate, rude, scary, and insulting speech and behavior from men directed at unknown women… in public places, simply because they are female.” This includes cat-calling, whistling, sexual comments or gestures, assault, and leering.

Let’s look at some horror stories:

Then because I didn’t say anything he screamed out, “Did you hear me?” Then he screamed, “I could just Fuck your ASS all night long.” He was screaming things to me all the way down the street until I couldn’t make out what he was saying, but he was still saying stuff.  He looked like a normal, good-looking nice guy, but he was so disgusting with his words.  It really did shake me up.” Excerpt from here.

“He got up and proceeded to lean in and maul me with his face and hands. My fighting instincts kicked in and I stood up, pushing him away. “Get the fuck away from me!” I screamed. “Don’t fucking touch me!” “What the fuck,” he slurred. “I was trying to apologize.” “Oh, that’s how you apologize? By invading someone’s space? That’s acceptable behavior to you?” I was shouting at this point, and I really didn’t care. “Well, whatever, it was a joke,” he said, coming in again to touch me.” Excerpt from here.

“I was very shaken after this. He almost got hit by a CAR, but he kept going! We were only 13 at the time. Sure, we looked older than our age, but even if we were older, that is just not appropriate at all. It did not feel good at all. We didn’t laugh. We weren’t flattered. All of a sudden, it wasn’t funny anymore. We felt threatened and uncomfortable.” Excerpt from here.

“Whatever,” you may say. “Women appreciate the attention/are asking for it/should know its harmless and all in good fun!”

  • NO ONE appreciates being dehumanized by being reduced to body parts or uses from vulgar words and gestures for another’s pure enjoyment. Saying “I wanna tap that booty!” is NOT the same level of “flattery” as saying “You an intelligent person”.
  • Whether you are 13 or 103, in sweats and a hoodie or a little black dress, walking alone at night or a with your family during the day, no one is ever asking to be harassed and should never be blamed for someone else’s wrong actions.
  • Street harassment is far from harmless. It is the reason I can’t walk my dog after sun down. It is the reason young girls feel like they have to both cover up their “shameful” bodies, but also keep them appealing to men. It is the reason millions of women feel uncomfortable, unsafe, threatened, and disgusted when simply walking to get their morning coffee.
  • Street harassment can lead to sexual assault. If someone does not have respect for your personal space, privacy, and dignity, what’s to say they’ll have respect if you say “no” or “stop”?

I know some of you may think its funny, or harmless, or a “boys will be boys” thing to yell lewd words at people or play grab-ass on the train, but its not. It’s fucking stupid and disrespectful, bottom line.

Check out Stop Street Harassment for more stories, resources for self-defense, and ways to deter and defend against street harassment.

 

The Free Drink Dilemma

Ladies,

It happens to all of us. We’re out with our friends, or alone, and a guy comes up to you and says, “Hi my name is so-and-so, could I buy you a drink?”

Sometimes they are polite enough to make conversation, or even ask for your name, before offering you free liquor like you’re a 19-year-old college student. But usually they interrupt your conversation, single you out, and ask if they can buy you a drink (in some of the worse cases, they have already bought the drink).

Now before you jump down to the comments section to angrily write about how you’re doing it to be polite, or its a good way to spark a conversation, or some other excuse – please read on.

The Free Drink is a bad idea on all sides, from all angles.

Basically, we can all agree that giving someone a free drink means that person is wanting to connect with the other person on some level (sexually, in conversation, etc). This is a problem for all parties involved:

  • Ideally, women could accept a drink from a man, chat, and then move on if she so decides to without feeling pressured or obligated to sleep with him, give him her number, etc.

Unfortunately that is not usually how it goes. I cannot count the number of times myself or my friends have accepted a free drink, made polite conversation, and then were made to feel uncomfortable and awkward when the guy would not leave/began pressuring her for her number/asking if she would come to another place with him.

  • Ideally, women could reject a free drink without being called a bitch/frigid man-hater.

A real damned-if-you-do and damned-if-you-don’t  situation. See where the problems arise? It’s not just for us ladies, either.

  • Ideally, a man would never feel obligated to buy someone a drink just to engage them in conversation.

Yes! There are women out there who believe that a man is not worth talking to unless he brings her a free drink. Yes! That is completely fucked up. No, men, you should absolutely never be “obligated” to buy anyone anything for the sake of simple conversation.

  • Ideally, men would not be led to believe that a woman accepting a free drink is an obligation to ANYTHING.

Look, I get the argument that if you don’t want to talk to a guy/go home with him, you should not accept his free drink.

Actually no, I don’t get it at all.

When you take that free rap music demo on the street, you aren’t obligated to listen to it, or call the guy up and say he was awesome, or have tea with him.

When you’re short on change and the woman in front of you at Starbucks covers that $1.50 you aren’t obligated to sleep with her or give her your number.

So why is a drink offered to a person any different?

Because society has made it that way. By accepting “Well that’s just what a free drink means and you know that” as an appropriate reason for why women get harassed for not sleeping with Douchey McFreeAlcohol you are simply reinforcing it and making it okay.

Men, stop expecting anything because you gave a girl a free drink and she said “okay”. Don’t bitch about ladies not giving you a chance if your first interaction with them is offering them booze. Don’t feel that a drink is the only way you can talk to a stranger,

Ladies, stop accepting the drink if you don’t want to. Stop feeling obligated to anything when accepting the drink other than expressing your thanks. And please, stop being offended when a guy doesn’t buy you a drink.

And everyone – stop making a free drink a dilemma.

Call Your Senator – Repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell

A crucial step is being taken in the LBGT rights movement to repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, the bigoted and ignorant law that bars hard-working Americans from defending our country.

CALL your senators, NOW! Pick up the phone, dial 202-224-3121, and ask to speak to your senator.  Urge them to vote to repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. Let them know this is A REAL ISSUE.

No, Senator John McCain, I will NOT vote for you in November if you do not work to repeal this ridiculous law.

Tell your senators to STOP with the excuses, the bigotry, and the cowardice that support DADT.

Support the movement through the Human Rights Campaign, Facebook, and Twitter. Spread the word and don’t let your government officials think they can get away with being a part of hatred, fear, and bigotry.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GG5VK2lquEc]