Posts tagged pregnancy

Having a baby? Don’t go to Oklahoma.

By on April 28, 2010
This entry is filed under Girl Talk, News and tagged , , , , , . | 12 Comments

Hey, if you’re planning on being pregnant in Oklahoma sometime in your future, don’t.

Oklahoma has placed tighter restrictions on abortions, including requiring an ultrasound. This is nothing new as a few other states have done this, and while I don’t agree, that’s a topic better left to The Hating Expert.

What is absolutely disgusting is another ‘abortion restriction’ put into law that doesn’t just affect those seeking an abortion, but those who are pregnant and having a child.

The second measure passed into law Tuesday protects doctors from malpractice suits if they decide not to inform the parents of a unborn baby that the fetus has birth defects. The intent of the bill is to prevent parents from later suing doctors who withhold information to try to influence them against having an abortion.

That’s right sweet hearts, doctors can now withhold crucial information from you, and you can’t do shit about it.

Since explicitly saying that doctors can withhold information from a patient if it conflicts with their moral or religious views is obviously illegal and wrong (but somehow okay for pharmacists?), Oklahoma law makers decided to simply protect the choice of a doctor should they choose to withhold information. Notice how pregnant women have no right to choose, but other people can choose what goes on with our bodies? Hmm.

But abortion aside, if I were a pregnant woman wanting to start a family, I would be terrified of this, and extremely pressured to lie and say that I thought abortion was wrong just so I could receive the truth. More realistically, I would just move out of Oklahoma, because who wants to live somewhere where doctors are free to lie?

I also don’t think these lawmakers understand how dangerous it is for the mother not to know about severe birth defects ahead of time. There is an immense amount of preparation needed for children with birth defects, heart problems, and diseases. Arranging health insurance ahead of time can save your child from being dropped from coverage as soon as its born. Gathering the right tools and medicine, and proofing your home is vital to carrying for certain ailments and defects.

On the bright side, I do have faith have there is only a minority of doctors who would be so dishonest, disgusting, and vile as to lie to pregnant women. Though I have no connections to Oklahoma other than sharing a country with it, I hope any readers who do live in Oklahoma take a stand against this, and even more so, look out for their safety and their child’s by finding a trustworthy doctor.

At the time of this posting, I can’t find any groups or petitions against this law that people can actively partake in. If you know of one, please let me know.

How To Adopt A Child

By on June 1, 2009
This entry is filed under Children, Guides and tagged , , , . | 1 Comment

If the media has taught me anything, it’s that people love children. Every time I turn on the news, it’s Famous Celebrity Has 5th Kid or Man Kidnaps Child At Mall-it’s obvious children are in high demand. Children are the latest craze to hit America, and with good reason! Here are some benefits of having children:

-You can be really fat, and no one will make fun of you.
-If you are 16 and pregnant, you are no longer labeled stupid, you are instead a beautiful, strong woman going through terrible hardships no responsible condom wearing teen will ever experience.
-If you are Bristol Palin, you are still labeled stupid, but you get to be on the cover of magazines.
-If someone breaks their arm or is shot and complains about it, you can tell them they don’t know pain because they’ve never pushed a human out of their vagina.
-When you die, you get to have “loving mother” put in your obituary, instead of “lonely old hag” like child-less women get.

Now that you see the benefits of having a child, I bet you want one (or 8). While you could have a child the boring old normal way, the cool thing to do now is adopt children!

Adoption means you go to a third world country and find starving foreign babies and take them home and look like a hero. Angelina Jolie did this, and then she got nominated for a Grammy. Jon and Kate Gosslin had a bunch of babies the normal way, and now they just look like selfish jerks.

Adopting a child is so easy, anyone can do it. Here’s how:

Step 1: Find a baby
Babies are everywhere. Africa, China, on street corners, subways,  Subway restaurants, etc. The best thing to do is get a baby that has a different skin colour than you, because then you 1) Look like even more of a hero and 2) it’ll be really funny if when the kid grows up, he doesn’t tell his girlfriend/boyfriend his parents are white, and they’re surprised and awkward when they meet you.

Step 2: Apply to Get Baby
This part is easy-breezy if you are a smooth talker. You are asked to fill out an adoption application that asks about your job and income. These are just filler questions that don’t matter, the only one the agency reads is “Why do you want to adopt a baby?”. Here are some good answers:
-They are cuter than puppies.
-Child Labor isn’t illegal everywhere.
-My dog is dead, and now I’m lonely.
-No man will touch me.

Step 3: What To Do If Your Application Is Rejected
Buy a baby off the Black Market.

Step 4: Be a Parent
Here’s the best part of having a child: being a parent! The best way to be a parent is to take your kids to the park and show them off to everyone. If it’s too cold for that, you can take photos of you and the baby and put them on Myspace, or even better, make the child its own Myspace. Its never too early to start networking.

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